VOLLEYBALL WAKE ME UP TO CONTINUE PLAYING A VOLLEYBALL

 Volleyball is quite literally my motivation to get up in the morning. Wake-up, think about volleyball. Go to school, think about volleyball. Go to practice, play volleyball. Go home, practice volleyball even more. Go to bed, think about volleyball. You could even consider it an unhealthy obsession.


But I just love the sport so much. I don’t know what I’m going to do after high school, I know I’d never be able to make a college team. It’s one of the only things I truly and wholly enjoy.


I know it’s about practice, the mindset, and the work you put in, but there’s no way I’d ever be as good as the other boys on my team. I wish I was a starter. It’s so embarrassing being the oldest kid there and one of the worst. I work my ass off after practice everyday just trying to get even a little bit better, and I threw my back out over the summer just trying to get my serve over a net.


My blocking is lame and my passing sucks. I’d do anything to get varsity level by next season. I’ve even considered paying to do club volleyball, but I know I’d never get in with how bad I am. I’d be wasting my mom’s money just to not get in, and she already thinks I’m a bad player. She doesn’t say it but I know she thinks it.


College volleyball is one of my biggest dreams. But, I’m not tall. I’m barely 5'3” and my vertical sucks. I didn’t play with them during their freshman season nor did I tryout last year for district I wanted to since freshman year, but I was too scared. I wanted to again sophomore year, but I didn’t know how. I wasted so much time, and I truly regret it. I really, absolutely love this sport, but there really is no future in it for me no matter how hard I try. I wouldn’t even be a good libero, seeing as my passing is trash.


I just needed to get this all out. It really pains me that my volleyball career ends next year, if I even get into varsity with how lackluster my skill is.

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